Too Damn Hot
by lovablegeek
Summary: [PreRent] April repeats herself, Roger throws ice, Benny gets on Roger's nerves, and Mark tries not to hum. Cowritten by my girlfriend Evie. RogerApril, Mark and Benny. [One shot]


"It is too. Damn. Hot," April groaned, fanning herself with an old newspaper. "And Mark, I swear to god if you start singing or humming, your camera will have a new home in the gutter." 

Mark snapped his mouth shut and tried desperately not to hum.

"It's extremely hot," Roger agreed, stretched out shirtless on the couch and staring up at the skylight. He sighed and closed his eyes after a moment, lacing his fingers behind his head.

"We have an air conditioner. This isn't fair." April glared at the offending bit of machinery, which had given out two days before. She sighed and stripped her damp shirt off, leaving her in a sports bra and pajama shorts. "Mark, how the hell can you be wearing _pants_?"

Mark shrugged. "Dunno. I'm hot too, but..."

"April, I vote you take off all your clothes," Roger suggested, glancing over at her with a hopeful look. "Mark, you can... leave."

Mark looked panicked for a moment, but April laughed. "No, baby, I'm not going to kick my brother out so you can see me naked. It's too hot for sex." Mark looked relieved on many levels.

"I didn't say anything about sex," Roger grumbled. "I don't want to _move_. I'm just saying, it would be a lot cooler."

"Oh, so you'd just sit there and _look_ at me?" She grinned. "I doubt it."

"Can we _not _talk about April getting naked?" Mark pleaded.

"I'm for it," Benny said, coming out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. "And so you know, the cold water is warm enough for a hot shower."

"For which, April getting naked or us not talking about it?" Roger asked without turning to look at Benny.

"The former," Benny said, eyeing the refrigerator. "If I stuck my head in the freezer, d'you think it would help?"

"Yes," April said. "But you'd spike our energy bill and melt my ice cream."

Roger sat up abruptly, looking to April with a smile. "We have ice cream?"

"I have ice cream, and no, you can't have any."

"Can I?"

"No, Benny. Mark, stop humming!"

"Sorry."

"But... it's _cold_," Roger whined, flopping back onto the couch. "Please?"

"No," April said firmly. "I'm saving it."

"Well, I, sadly, have to put on clothes and go to work," Benny sighed. "April, if you get naked, make sure someone gets pictures."

"Will do, have fun," April said cheerfully. Mark rolled his eyes.

"I'll take pictures, but you're not allowed to see them."

"April?"

"I'll steal 'em for you, honey. Go get dressed, you're gonna be late."

Roger made a face and waved Benny off with one hand before pushing himself up off the couch, walking to the fridge and pulling the freezer open. "You sure I can't have your ice cream?"

"Touch it and you won't see me naked for a week."

"Touch it, Roger!" Mark suggested.

Roger sighed and pulled an ice cube tray out of the freezer. As he walked back to the couch, he very calmly popped an ice cube out of the tray and threw it at Mark. Mark yelped and ducked, and the ice cube landed, somehow, down the front of April's bra.

"Roger!" April squeaked loudly.

Biting his lip and trying not to laugh, Roger said slowly, "Sorry... You want me to get that for you?"

The death glare she aimed at him was answer enough.

"I wouln't attempt it if I were you," Mark supplied helpfully.

Roger sighed and sat on the table, one leg tucked under him. "Fine," he said innocently as he popped out another ice cube and started to suck on it. "I was just trying to be helpful."

April tossed the ice cube (safely extracted) in the general direction of his head, then flopped back with a sigh. "It's too damn hot."

"You said that already," Mark said, picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

"I know. But it bears repeating."

"Probably about twenty more times, knowing you," Roger said, still sucking on his ice cube. "But, y'know, that's just a guess."

"You wanna go, jackass?"

Roger smirked, quietly teasing. "Only if it's someplace with candlelight."

April considered this, and glanced at the clock. "Okay. Six o'clock. That's two hours. I'm gonna take a shower."

He sat there. Frowned at her. Sighed. "It's too _hot_ for candles."

"Not if we go somewhere with air conditioning," she said, getting up and kissing his cheek. "And you be sure to shower!" she said before closing the bathroom door. Mark snickered.

"You just got roped into a candlelit dinner in Little Italy, if I know her," he said, amused.

Roger growled and threw another ice cube at Mark's head. "This isn't funny, midget-boy."

"Yeah it is," Benny said, on his way to the door.

"Do you even know what happened?" Mark asked. Benny grinned.

"Nope, but if Roger's grumbling about it..." He ducked a high-speed ice projectile and quickly closed the door behind him.

Roger sighed and shifted around on the table so he could lay down – the metal was cool on his back, and he closed his eyes after a moment, apparently having given up on glaring at Mark. "Why is it all of my roommates always gang up on me?"

"Because it's immensely satisfying," Mark said after a moment's thought.

Roger opened his eyes and rolled off the table, shooting Mark an annoyed look. He would have thrown another ice cube, but he'd run out. "You... just..." After a moment of gesturing at Mark in frustration, he growled and stalked off to his room, slamming the door.

Mark sat there, by himself, sweating silently. After a few seconds, he glanced around and, satisfied that he was alone, smiled and started singing quietly.

"It's too darn hot..."


End file.
